


give me silence, give me space

by revengeavenue



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Brendon is supportive, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Light Smut, M/M, Ryan has anxiety, fever era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 02:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7783270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revengeavenue/pseuds/revengeavenue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan and Brendon rarely get alone time while they're touring. When they finally do, Ryan's anxiety acts up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	give me silence, give me space

**Author's Note:**

> A draft of this has been sitting in my notes for quite some time, so I decided to finish the thing. It turned out different than I expected, but I actually really like it.

The silence got heavier as Brendon pulled Ryan further into his lap. They had rushed to the back of the bus after the show, so they could finally catch some time alone, which they didn't get very much of while on tour. Brendon felt incredibly lightheaded from all the rushing they had to do; his breath almost left him completely.

Mindlessly, his calloused fingers ran over Ryan's clothed thighs. They took a minute to just appreciate the soundless environment; it seemed like they never got peace and quiet. Everywhere they went, it was constantly noisy. Fans screamed, instruments sounded, and it was all pure chaos a majority of the time.

Ryan leaned forward, colliding his lips with Brendon's own. He was sure some of his melted makeup was getting on the other boy's cheeks, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He waited too long for the opportunity to kiss the life out of his partner.

Their lips moved in sync for a couple more lust-filled moments, until Ryan pulled away for the second time that night. "I-I'm sorry for pulling away from you on stage like that, I was just so fucking scared," Ryan admitted before resting his hands on top of Brendon's, which were still on his thighs. (They were clammy, but once again: Ryan didn't care at all.)

Brendon's breath caught in his throat. He suddenly felt guilty for putting Ryan in that situation. It was done purely for fan service, and he didn't mean to make Ryan uncomfortable by displaying that much affection in front of them.

He lifted his hands up and caressed his makeup smeared cheeks, getting some of the eyeliner on his fingers in the process. "Baby, don't apologize. I shouldn't have even done it. I'm sorry," He muttered as his lips inched closer to Ryan's exposed neck. The paleness of his skin would look much better with a dash of purple, he reckoned.

There was no time for Ryan to reply. By the time he opened his mouth, Brendon's mouth was on his neck, sucking a fresh bruise that he'd be sporting for quite some time. They just didn't fade as easily with his skin tone. Ryan groaned in response, and Brendon lived for the sounds coming out of his mouth. It was all he ever wanted to hear.

He pulled away before he did too much damage, admiring the mark he made on Ryan's soft skin. It would be difficult to hide later on, but Ryan was good with makeup, so he it wasn't such a big deal.

Ryan was sporting his rose vest: his absolute favorite thing to perform in. It fit him so perfectly, almost as if it was made for him and him only. Brendon loved when he wore it; it was so beautiful.

"You're so fucking pretty," Brendon said in a low voice, while toying with the buttons on the rose vest. He made eye contact with the boy in his lap, noticing the way his eyes were dilated and darker than ever.

Ryan blushed with those words, despite that fact that Brendon called him pretty all the time. He concluded that the boy would always have that sort of affect on him. He was so fucking gone for Brendon, and that was that.

Soon enough, Ryan's vest was off and set aside neatly; Brendon couldn't bring himself to throw the thing on the floor. It was too precious. He turned the two of them to the side and pinned Ryan to the small couch, which was almost too small for the both of them. They made it work, though.

Brendon had taken off his heavy jacket as soon as they got off stage, so only the thin cloth of their button up shirts remained between their chests. Ryan's heart was beating abnormally fast, because any second now, someone could walk in and see them. Sure, there was a door on the lounge, but it didn't lock. He wasn't sure why he was so afraid of someone from the band or crew finding out, especially when it was getting obvious that they were messing around. He tried to push it to the back of his mind, for the reason that he simply wanted to enjoy something for once in his life without worrying.

Ryan spread his legs apart to allow Brendon to slot in between them. He smiled at that action, and leaned down to press his lips to Ryan's once again. Without breaking the kiss, Brendon began to unbutton his shirt: revealing his bare chest inch by inch.

Everything was moving painfully slow, at least for Ryan, that is. His senses were heightened, and he was on edge entirely. Somehow, Brendon noticed. By the last button, he pulled away from the open mouthed kiss and began to grind down onto him. He earned a strangled moan from Ryan, which was followed by an unnamed noise from outside the lounge area.

As Brendon was in the process of leaving another purple bruise on Ryan's collarbone, Ryan lightly began to push him away.

"Ryan...what's wrong?" Brendon asked, genuine concern lacing his voice. He was still hovering over the boy, who appeared a bit startled.

Ryan shook his head, "I-I heard something...out there. I just, I-"

"Do you want to stop?" Brendon whispered to him. He didn't particularly want them to stop, but if Ryan did, then they had to. He knew of Ryan's anxiety, and there was no way in hell that he'd push him into doing something he was uncomfortable with doing in that place and time.

"Y-Yeah...I'm really sorry Bren," Ryan whispered in reply, as they backed away from one another.

"Hey, it's fine. Don't apologize."

Shakily, he put his shirt back on, along with his rose vest. He also attempted to fix his hair, but he soon gave up on it. There was smeared makeup all over his face; the masterpiece he created earlier in the night a melted mess. Ryan planned to hit the showers quick before they left the venue.

Brendon watched him the entire time with sad eyes, hoping that he would at least get the opportunity to sneak into his bunk later in the night so they could talk. He wanted him to be okay.

Ryan was just about to leave, when Brendon stood up from the couch and grabbed his hand. "I just want you to know that I'll always be here for you. Just come talk to me if you ever need anything, alright?"

Ryan blushed again and smiled nervously, "I will."


End file.
